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As the calendar ticks by mid-May and my 36th birthday approaches, I can't help but start thinking about some of the big, scary questions that no one really wants to face. Start with the obvious – do I want kids? Flexible numbers. Do I want to go on a date? Dating is hard when you hate men. Do I want to stay in Wanaka long-term? perhaps. When and where will I buy a home someday? Note to self – Increase your savings for a home.
It was easy for me to fall into negative thought patterns about money and relationships, punishing myself for not following a traditional life path. My life in Wanaka was pretty normal; most of my friends were either having their second babies or going through their first divorces. Getting stuck in a comparison mindset is second nature to me. It takes some deep self-reflection to take a step back and reform the narrative. I know, I know, there's a lot of therapy talk. Look, I've spent a fortune on therapy over the years, and I'm going to make the most of every penny.
So it may be harder to turn my thoughts to positive things as it will be for me, but it will be better in the long run. I try to focus on my successes and wins. I mused on the memories of my travels and the lessons I’ve learned over the years. How different the 36-year-old me is from the 26-year-old me. I'm older, wiser, more Botox, you know, the usual.
But some things remain the same: I'm an introvert and I hate people. Which means I’m still rocking the old solo female travel lifestyle. To be honest, I really don't think that's going to change. I love traveling alone just as much as I did 17 years ago when I boarded a one-way flight to study abroad in Spain for a year. In fact, I've been traveling alone for so long that I don't even think of it as just traveling.
What fascinates me is the change in the tourist landscape. That year I still used a calling card from a public phone to call my family in Salamanca. I would travel by train, arrive in a new town, and go to the information center to ask about hotels. No one had a smartphone and actually had to ask people for directions. I still remember the first time someone asked me for directions in Spanish in Spain – even though I had no idea where they wanted to go, showing up was like a dream come true.
Maybe what I didn't expect was that I found women traveling alone In your thirties, you have gained even more than I did when I was young. Why? Because I have changed. After thinking about it for a while, I decided to list six reasons why it’s amazing for women in their thirties to travel alone. I'm curious if you agree with them. enjoy!
1. Your confidence shines brighter than ever
One of the best things about getting older is that you start to care less about a lot of things. Having spent my life pleasing people, I have always had a hard time saying no. But the past few years have been amazing. I just don’t care as much as I used to.
I can relate directly to people in a way that was extremely difficult for me in my twenties. When I was trying to sell my car a few years ago, this guy was on the phone, bordering on harassing me, telling me what to do and saying I didn't know anything. Instead of waiting to end the conversation, I said, “I don’t like this—bye,” and hung up. To some, this may seem silly, but for introverts, shy people, and people who hate conflict, this is a big deal. Stand up to people who put me down, talk about me, lecture me, or tell me what to do? This is starting to feel really good.
Learn to be more direct and don't be afraid of rejection. There is power in whatever ability you have. This continues nicely women traveling alone In my thirties. Traveling alone as a woman can be scary. You may not have honed your bullshit radar or learned to trust your gut over politeness. But in your thirties? “Sir, I already paid you twenty bucks to ride this camel around the pyramid. I'm not paying you more. Period.”
God, I can't wait until I'm 70 and I can boss people left, right and center with zero fucking fuss.
2. Your bank account looks better
I want to start by saying that you are probably richer in your thirties than you were in your twenties. I'm sure some people don't think so. In fact, I was negative on money for a long time in my thirties. But for others who know how to live within their means, this is for you.
When I first started backpacking solo at age 19, I was cheap for a long time. I must. In the US, my job pays me $5.85 to $7 an hour. Yes, multitasking. And, while in college, I somehow thought it would be a good idea to go to a school where a four-year degree cost $200,000. I feel privileged to say this, but I think it's safe to assume that many of us in our thirties have managed to save some money, have better jobs, and hopefully have less student loan debt.
Finally, my days of living in 15-bed hotels and sleeping on airport floors are gone. I would pay more for a better flight seat or even an upgrade (remember, traveling is my job), I wouldn't fly on a crappy budget airline if I could, and I would take an Uber instead public transportation.
However, I did suffer a horrific case of food poisoning during a business class breakfast on a Latin American flight back from South America. So classier doesn't always mean better, although I would say it's much better to spit out your guts in a private bathroom in an airport lounge.
3. Your taste in *literally* everything has improved (or evolved)
wine. food. tourist destination. style. man. I can guarantee your taste will improve across the board. This may coincide with an improvement in your financial situation. Was I really used to wearing dresses with jeans, hard-core side fringes, and lip piercings? My Facebook photo album from 2007 certainly shows that I did. The last time I was in the US, I walked into an Urban Outfitters and walked out immediately.
I remember when I was studying abroad in Spain, we used to drink Don Simón red wine for one euro a box. For me now, food culture has become one of my favorite parts of traveling. I love exploring places through food. Good food doesn't always mean more expensive. I'll sit on a bucket and eat street soup Hongkong As I enjoyed lunch at Lung King Hee, the first Chinese restaurant in the world to receive three Michelin stars in the Four Seasons. The bad thing is I can't eat like I did in my twenties; it's too bad.
Even my taste in destinations has changed. I once wanted to backpack as much as possible. I didn't have the opportunity to travel as a child, so as soon as I could pay for it myself I started traveling far and wide. Nowadays, Ibiza, Mykonos and Las Vegas no longer appeal to me. Even though many cities are not that attractive, I would rather stay in a small town or in the countryside. I guess it's more of an evolution and not necessarily an improvement in taste, but you get the idea.
4. Slowing down, mindfulness, and self-care are important
It is said that with age comes wisdom, like jumping off a very high bridge in Slovenia in your twenties (gosh, what an adventure of a lifetime!) By your thirties, I reflected on that and thought, wow, that's very unsafe. Nowadays, I enjoy slowing down, going on a hike or hike, and challenging myself in other ways that will be just as satisfying in my thirties.
My definition of self-care when traveling in my twenties was staying in the same hotel for more than one night and not eating instant noodles for breakfast. Instead of wanting to see everything, I now like to take my time and put myself in one place. I even like to go back to places I love that I've been to before so I can dig deeper. Traveling alone as a woman in your thirties is great because it teaches me to be more mindful in every aspect.
I am more aware of my presence and impact when I travel now than when I was younger. You know, simple things like following the rules.
5. Change priorities, no more discotheques
Gone are the days of “Bartender, can I order your strongest, cheapest drink?” I I bet the things you were interested in traveling in your twenties were different than they were in your thirties. In my twenties, I wanted to check off every adventure on my bucket list. I just want to give it my all.
Skydiving in Switzerland? Diving with sharks. Backpacking through Southeast Asia. Remember Vang Vieng in Laos? Or what about Thailand? I still remember taking an advanced diving course in Koh Tao and waking up the next morning so hungover (not in my room – oops) that I nearly threw up in my regulator and was unable to complete the day’s dive. Shame, shame, shame.
These days my priorities have shifted from parties, boys and big events to bird watching, spa treatments and yelling at people to turn down the music after 8pm. While I travel for the same reasons: curiosity, experience, and adventure, my definition of those things is no longer the same. Traveling alone as a woman in her thirties has really developed into a specific experience, often involving wine tasting.
6. You realize that cheap 6 a.m. flight isn't worth it. Don't do this.
Enough said.
