Mariam Amini meets the man of her dreams. But before they can pursue their shared passion for adventure, they must be united by her Muslim faith.
“If we're going to have a future together, eventually you have to convert.”
I avoided Christian's eyes as I said the words I'd been afraid of. We were in the college hall at Warwick. It was a crisp night in November 2018, when we had only been “dating” for a month.
Christian grew up in Sheffield, northern England. He is of English, Scottish, German and Italian descent. I was born in London but come from an Afghan family. My family fled Kabul after the Soviet invasion in 1979.
We met while volunteering malaysian borneo It was that summer, although our relationship during the expedition had been purely platonic.
It was our shared curiosity and love of discovering new cultures that brought us together in Borneo. Once we returned to the UK, it didn't take long for us to develop a more romantic relationship. In the early days we would constantly talk about all the places we wanted to visit one day. Most importantly, return to Southeast Asia High on our list.
The more we discussed the idea of traveling together, the more excited and nervous I became. According to Afghan culture and my faith tradition, you must be married before you can live or travel with your partner. At the time, I couldn't imagine how things would turn out. I wanted to be honest with Christian, but I also didn't want to scare him away.
Luckily, he knew what to say to reassure me: “If by then, things go the way they did, I'll do anything to make sure I don't lose you.”
Introduction to Faith and Family
Over the next few months, Christian began to explore Islam more deeply. Often, when we talk, he tells me what he's learned. Ironically, some of this knowledge was new even to me. Although I grew up in a Muslim household, my parents never forced me to practice beyond what I felt comfortable with. The Quran itself says: “There is no compulsion in religion.”
Likewise, although it's not common for Afghan girls to leave home before marriage, my parents didn't stop me when I told them I wanted to move out and go to college. Later, I said I wanted to study abroad in Berlin for a year, and they supported me.
By December 2018, I was ready to tell my parents about Christian. I told them where we met, that he was not Afghan, that he was baptized Catholic, but more spiritual. I also told them our intention to travel.
They weren't exactly excited to hear that their daughter planned to leave indefinitely with a stranger, but when they saw that I was serious about it, they started to think more about the idea. They also stressed that in order for us to travel together, we first had to have an Islamic wedding, called a “nikkah.”
At that stage, neither of us was ready to seriously consider Nika. Even so, the following April, I introduced Christian to my parents. It was an informal dinner in London, followed by games at a nearby arcade. I could tell they appreciated his easygoing nature, polite friendliness, and curiosity about our faith.
Engagement and Nikka
I graduated in 2019, and during this time, our parents had many conversations. Afghans embody a collectivist culture, so when two people come together, it marks the union of two families. Christian's family was always tolerant of this.
To celebrate our first anniversary they came to London where we had a small namzati (engagement) ceremony. Shortly thereafter we decided to do nikah.
Until then, internal resistance persists. We have tried to find ways to travel together without getting married, such as teaching English abroad and living in separate residences. Neither of us wanted to rush into marriage, but more importantly, I didn't want Christian to convert to Islam if he wasn't sure about it. My biggest worry is that he will resent me in the future.
Again, I know there really isn't a better option. If we had gone against my family's wishes, if I had turned my back on my faith and culture and left the UK with Christian unmarried, I would have lost a huge part of myself.
Thankfully, about a year after our initial conversation, Christian told me he was ready. We knew we had to give it our all if we wanted to move forward and travel freely together.
In January of the following year, our nikah was held at my parents' flat in London. This was a very intimate gathering with only immediate family in attendance. Christian completed his conversion en route, during which he recited the Shahada (statement of faith): “There is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.”
During the ceremony, the Imam spoke of the values of family, unity and faith. He asked for our consent and was endorsed by our witnesses. We discussed the mahr, a mandatory gift from the groom to his wife before signing the marriage contract as a form of financial security.
Read more: Why we choose to go on our honeymoon with strangers
Our indefinite honeymoon begins
Four days later, we took an early morning flight to Greece. We visited Athens and Santorini before taking a one-way flight back to Malaysia – where we first met. A year and a half after our Borneo adventure, we arrived in Kuala Lumpur and it felt like home.
The idea was to travel around Southeast Asia for a year – little did we know Covid had other plans. When the world went into lockdown, we were volunteering at a permaculture project in Pulau Medan, an island north of Penang. Suddenly, everything was uncertain. We don’t know when, or if, we will be able to continue traveling. But it’s this uncertainty that inspires me to pray more often and connect with my faith.
We spent five weeks in Medan before returning to the UK in April 2020. However, it didn’t take long for us to find another volunteer project that fall, this time picking olives with a local family. Croatia.
This opportunity led to eight months in the Balkans. The next year, we flew to Mexico and arrived after nine months of overland travel Bolivia. Although our initial adventure in Southeast Asia was cut short, our travel plans and what we like to call our “indefinite honeymoon” eventually came to fruition.
Whenever we meet other travelers, we happily tell them our stories. It quickly became a source of pride for us, demonstrating our commitment to each other and our travels. Reactions vary. Western backpackers will be surprised, but locals in Malaysia and other Muslim countries seem delighted. But overall, everyone respects the intent behind our decision.
Weddings and leaps of faith
Travel was a priority for a long time, but we always planned a wedding. So, in 2025, I met Christian at the altar end in Sheffield, said “I do” (again) and celebrated our commitment with our loved ones. As nikahs are not recognized under UK law, we also had a civil ceremony.
However, Nika will always hold a special place in our hearts. This is the date we engrave on our wedding rings. This is the day when Christians first accepted Islam. Any doubts we had at the time were swept away by the fact that we were certain of each other.
By taking a leap of faith so early, our relationship has been defined by trust, patience, honesty, and security. When we finally started traveling together, we knew we had everyone’s approval—including God’s.
Five years later, our love for travel and faith remains. Each piece was on display at the wedding. My sister recited the Quran during our ceremony and we displayed cards with our favorite Quranic verses written on them. Meanwhile, our table names are inspired by our favorite destinations and we also have a box inviting guests to give us their future travel tips.
In many ways, this feels like the beginning of a new chapter. Next, we plan a three-week trip across six countries in the central and eastern EuropeGod willing, we will travel to 49 countries respectively.
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Image Source: Wedding Photography Bethany Clark
